Political Diatribes

Another conservative take on the world around us

McCain to Advertise During Democratic Convention – My Ideas

Posted by The Diatribe Guy on November 15, 2008

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on August 18, 2008.

I like the move.

According to this article:

Sen. John McCain has so much spare cash on hand — he collected a record $27 million in July — that the Republican candidate plans to run campaign ads during the networks’ coverage of the Democratic National Convention later this month.

Because Mr. McCain has agreed to accept $84 million in public financing for the general election, the presumptive presidential nominee has only until Sept. 4, when he accepts his party’s nomination, to spend the more than $21 million he has on hand.

Democratic strategist Mary Anne Marsh said the McCain campaign’s strategy illustrates just how much presidential campaigns have changed. In past contests, one candidate went quiet while the other had his convention, and the strategist said she can’t remember a candidate ever airing ads during the other’s party convention.

“The ads are less an effort to get votes than make a point and get it covered by the national media while Obama has the attention of the nation,” she said. “No doubt the Obama campaign will do the same now.”

OK, so here are my unsolicited contributions to the McCain camp. These are guaranteed winners in the fight for America’s votes. This is a great opportunity to just be a regular guy and appeal to the masses.

Here are my ideas:

First, in general, a number of these should be live spots, rebutting recent statements made at the convention. This is necessary, but these need to be intertwined greatly with:

Second, win the people with humor.

OK, here’s my thoughts for Ad #1:
It could be a series of 5-second ads, back to back to back to back with quick idiotic statements made from the floor of the convention. Maybe start with a quick intro, simple white words against a black screen: “Highlights from the 2008 Democratic National Convention.”

“Seriously, do they believe this BS? I’m John McCain and I approve of this message.”

“Three words… L… O… L… I’m John McCain and I approve of this message.”

“I wonder how long it took to come up with that one! I’m John McCain, and I approve of this message.”

“Is it just me, or was that funny? I’m John McCain, and I approve of this message.”

Ad #2: Camera shows an empty desk, where John McCain is supposed to be making a statement. See people dashing about, asking where he is. The commercial’s starting! A quick pan left sees McCain in a chair, asleep, with the Convention tuned in on a TV in front of him. He is shaken awake and told that he fell asleep, and he’s late for his commercial, to which he responds, “Sorry… sorry… it’s just so hard to stay awake during reruns of the Democratic National Conventions of the 1970s.”

“What? We’re out of time? Um, OK… I’m John McCain and I approve this message.”

Ad #3: Show McCain sitting at a card table playing cards with a few guys. Have a couple beers sitting there for effect. As McCain deals, have him comment on something that someone just said at the convention, as everyone bursts out in laughter. Then, just get back to asking questions about cards. “Is it up to me? Pass…”

That’s it, other than “I’m John McCain, and I approve this message.”

Um, I dont think this is a good idea...

Um, I don't think this is a good idea...

Ad #4:
McCain is at a meeting with some advisors, and they are discussing color scheme at the Republican National Convention. Just as one of the guys suggests a terrible color scheme, “Fuscia and Orange, to make a bold statement” McCain takes a huge bite of a donut. Visibly uncomfortable with the proposed scheme, he frantically tries to simultaneously eat and say something to nix this catastrophe, as everyone jumps on board with the possibilities, such as a coordinating outfit at the official nomination! McCain reaches to get a drink to try and talk some sense into these idiots, when one says, “OK, anyone not in favor, raise their hand.” Between a drink and McCain’s inability to raise his arm, he is caught with a mouthful of donut, a drink in his hand, and a panicked look as he is physically unable to raise his hand. The advisors, thinking everyone is on board, cheer themselves, yell out a comment about getting started right away, and leave the room. Just as the last person leaves, McCain finally swallows the donut, and meekly says “Um, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

It would also be funny if he would say “I’m John McCain, and I disapprove of this message.”

Feel free to post other ideas.

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